Two Tonne Machete – 'Hold Up My Crown' EP Review

9h

2 min read

Tracklist:

Lead with my Bad Side
PIGS PIGS
Home
Hold Up My Crown
Box

I had absolutely no idea what to expect from this band. As I get older and listen to more and more music, the more I realise how genres have gone one of two ways – either hyper specific, or bands pick a general mix because they don’t know how to describe themselves. And just to be clear, this is not a criticism, I am in a band and we don’t know how to describe ourselves either! This does mean, however, when Sean (the illustrious 3 Songs leader) hands me an EP by an unknown band who call themselves an alt rock/punk/grunge band, it could sound like many other bands, or it could be something that becomes greater than the sum of those parts.

And the good news here is that Two Tonne Machete absolutely sound greater than the generic genre description would have you think. This EP is genuinely one of the best things I’ve listened to all year. There’s only five tracks and I have trouble picking a couple of great ones, cos they are all great, so I’ll just discuss them all in order.

“Lead with my Bad Side” starts super strong with a great short riff that repeats just the right amount and smashes through the entire song with the sort of intensity that you love to see from a band that clearly have lots to say.

“PIGS PIGS” is catchy and is the sort of earworm that will burrow into your mind and stay there for an eternity. Listening to it just makes me want to bang my head and bounce up and down, which is great if I’m at home, less so if I’m listening while doing other things!

“Home” is where we slow down a tiny bit, starting with just guitar and vocals before dropping into a mid-tempo rocker. I can just picture this live, with a crowd singing “Don’t take me home now” over and over.

The title track of this EP, “Hold Up My Crown” is probably one of the highlights, but I find it really hard to articulate why. Once again, it’s catchy, it’s bouncy, it’s got that venom behind it that all good rock songs have.

Which brings us to “Box”, the final track. Which starts with a piano (something I wasn’t particularly expecting!) and for the first minute and change it feels like it’s the typical “lets put a ballad on the EP” – but then the band kicks in and really brings it up a level.

I love the overall sound of this EP – the tone of the bass and guitars, the driving force of the drums and the vocal performances all come together to create something that is absolutely worth your time.

I am sure that Two Tonne Machete are going to go far, and I am looking forward to watching them do it! In short, this EP is a must for seeing you through the dark and dreary winter months of 2026 and into the future beyond. Cannot recommend this enough (and am definitely looking at ordering the vinyl!)